The rules of etiquette are not always used for the good.  There is a long history of the aristocratic use of the rules of civilized conduct to exclude and ostracize those from a lower social position.  While anyone can learn good manners, the more rules that are created and the more strictly they are observed, the greater opportunity there is to embarrass those who lack any training in etiquette or even to keep them out of your company altogether.

Indeed, often it is only members of the upper class who have the time or money to have their children taught the rules and practices of proper etiquette or observe the traditions and habits that regularly reinforce them.  Even in the United States, where we know that “all men are created equal” and anything aristocratic leaves a bad taste in our mouth, there remains a temptation always to find ways to elevate ourselves over others, using whatever we can to do so—our money, power, intellect, and yes, even our manners.

In fact, possessing the knowledge and personal habits of good manners is a blessing—a gift—but it is quite like having wealth, intelligence, or power.  It doesn’t make you any better than anyone else—the question is what you do with it.  Either you can humbly recognize it as a gift and look to bring others up by sharing what you have learned; or you can see it as an occasion to look down on others, and embarrass them when they’re not sure what to do.

1 Peter 4:10 says that “as each has a received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”  There is nothing quite so ugly as one who regards himself as better than another, simply because he’s been given the gift of elevated manners.  Humility is the greatest manner of them all.

Have a wonderful day.