During World War II, the War Advertising Council created posters in America that read “Loose lips might sink ships.”  The British employed a similar idiom, “Careless Talk Costs Lives.”  The phrases were meant to convey caution, that unguarded or careless talk could undermine the war effort—either by inadvertently sharing information with spies that could be used against the Allied powers, or by spreading bad news or false rumors that would hurt morale and erode confidence among the citizens.

Encouraging people to be cautious in their talk was not a license for dishonesty—it was a call to discretion and to prudence.  We don’t always have to share what we think or know in every situation, and there is wisdom in knowing the difference.  When a friend gets a new haircut and we don’t think it looks particularly good, honesty doesn’t give us a pass to be insulting; when someone tell us something in confidence, the obligation to be honest in all things doesn’t permit us to disclose their secret; when we know someone is seeking information to use it not for good, but for ill, being honest doesn’t demand that we share it, rather than remain silent.

Some of us struggle with telling the truth—but others of us are all too happy to be honest, even brutally honest, sharing information that is not ours to share or mistaking unkind and indelicate bluntness for truthfulness.  And that kind of “honesty” will erode trust just as fast as telling lies will.

Loose lips sink ships; they also sink friendships.  Discretion is the better part of valor; it is also the better part of candor.